Present fatherhood in 2021

Bonding with your Little Ones in Lockdown, by Deane Hill

In a world of juggling work, homeschooling, mental and physical health as well as the happiness of your little ones, it can be difficult to be a present parent. With Father’s Day around the corner, Deane Hill, husband of mom blogger, Bongi Hill, shares his ‘dadvice’ for being present in our new normal. 

Successful businesses are often ones that define and live by their values. How much more important are family values as they are the building blocks of our societies’ values? As a father, one of the things that I try to live by is to be present.
It sounds so easy, but in this busy world we often need to detach to be present. You need to ask yourself, “Do my children know that they’re always first; that “my door” is always open? Do they know that when they need comfort or to share a thought, or go on an adventure that am I there?”.

Here are 4 things that I do to ensure I am in the now.
 

1. Bye-bye screens

Our biggest challenge is screen time. Does a social media post or a chess game distract me from my kids? Do we allow them to watch too much TV – not allowing for the quiet moments of cuddling on a couch, exploring their imaginations, or going for a ride or walk in the garden? Being present requires us to create quality time in order to be present. As fathers, we need to reinforce that they are the most important treasures in our lives, that we will listen, love, comfort and encourage them in everything that they do.

What better way to avoid screen time than spending time in water or the pool? You can’t take your devices in there. So in summer, after work we have pool time together, which is a fantastic time to be present and many an hour is spent laughing, splashing and just being kids (daddy included!).
 

2. Have some sort of routine

Every morning I make porridge with at least one child sitting on the counter. We start our mornings with “connection time”. In the evening, it’s a bit trickier, with parents coming home at different times, supper, bathing and getting the kids to bed.

So, on wintery evenings, we all go for a short walk or look for flowers in the garden, just before dark. A quick 30 minutes makes all the difference. I can see that the kids feel more grounded. I also enjoy cuddling and reading a story or 2 to our kids every night. They love this time – and they know most of the words of our favourite stories!
 

3. Get out in the fresh air

Weekends are the best! I love to take the kids riding with me. My daughter, Esona, on a seat between the handle bars and Lukhanyo in the 1-wheeler behind me. They love this adventure! We can chat and sing for just over an hour before bums and legs start to get sore. It’s such a special bonding time. Saturday mornings are also pancake mornings – again around the counter – eating and chatting and making them the centre of the universe.

4. Have a fun father fashion try-on

Kids love being part of decision making. Make it fun with a daddy-and-child fashion try-on. Let them say “yay” or “nay” so they’re behind your cool-dad look. The good news is Woolworths is having WRewards deals on men’s long-sleeve tees (2 for R150 each), selected men’s knitwear (2 for R299 each) and classic plain formal shirts (2 for R249 each). 

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The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this article/post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Woolworths or any of its affiliates, directors, officers, employees and/or advisors.