Too much of a good thing, a bad thing?

It’s so tempting to allow your iPad, Nintendo or cell phone to babysit your kids. I’m guilty of this – I won’t lie. My six-year-old has been swiping away on an iPad since she was two. And because she’s so adept at it, she can happily tap away for hours without a peep, while I help my eight-year-old with maths and reading homework, cook dinner, prepare breakfast and school lunches for the next morning, finish my freelance writing work and enjoy a quiet glass of wine.

Please don’t drag me?

So while I know I don’t have to be superwoman, I am constantly aware that even banning iPads before school is not enough to mitigate what child psychologist Cristine Scolari warns against.

“Too much screen time steals valuable time that your child can be developing his/her skills such as gross-motor skills (jumping, running, skipping) [or] fine-motor skills such as drawing and colouring in. All of these little skills put together make the child ready for school,” Scolari says. “Children get easily distracted and get easily bored and can’t entertain themselves.”

The most chilling research I read was by Jean Piaget, Swiss psychologist and epistemologist known for his pioneering work in child development. Piaget’s theory of cognitive development explains how a child constructs a mental model of the world – that young children aged between two to six learn from real-life situations and actions and develop memory and imagination, which allows them to understand the difference between past and future. Their thinking, he wrote, is based on intuition and is not completely logical. It is at this age that they start to form ideas on how they think about and see the world.

Scolari recommends eliminating screen time from Monday to Thursday to get children ready for big school. If you say they can play after doing their homework or other activities, children rush through the important work to get to play with their gadgets, which you want to avoid.

I spoke to a few moms to get some practical tips on how they manage their little ones’ screen time:

• On weekdays, he is allowed 15 minutes in the morning and at lunch time and then 30 minutes in the evening before dinner. On weekends and during holidays, the morning session is extended to an hour but he always has to ask for permission first. When the time is done it’s done and when it’s done he doesn’t even think of it as an option. – Alexia Walker, mother of Gael, age 5
   
• Every parent spends about 40-50% of their lives trying to distract their children so that they can be by themselves. The advent of the iPad has greatly assisted and most parents will never be honest about just how much screen time their kid has. But really, it’s all about scheduling. No TV during breakfast, walk to the park after school and weekends, set up regular playdates and schedule bath times. Filling your child’s time with other activities is really the only way to make sure they’re not spending too much time clicking, swiping and watching. – Zengeziwe Msimang, mother of Khona, age 

• I keep her busy with extramural activities during the week so she has little time to binge on screen until the weekend – and then it’s a treat. I also don’t keep devices at home when I’m not there. – Kalliebree Kaynerd, mother Selah, age 6
   
• We use Norton Family and Screen Time – the apps allow time allocation controlled activities, and thereafter block internet access and then report back on how the device was used. – Lianda Holleman, mother of three
   
• Screen time is only on weekends. And we also try to mix the apps up well with educational ones. So we’ll spend the morning at the beach and pick out coral and sea life that we’ve seen on the iPad. We find that it helps integrating real world stuff with games and gadgets. – Melanie Reeder, mother of two under 5

Scolari says, “The positives are that children may benefit from educational content and, of course, they have access to a lot of information at their fingertips. Indeed technology, whether we like it or not, is part of the course of modern life and we cannot get away with not having it in our homes.”

Scolari has seen many children in her practice who are anxious because they’ve watched something on YouTube that they thought was real or not age appropriate. “I see attention difficulties and children de-motivated about school and school work and they cannot stay on the task at hand.

If you’re concerned about your child watching too much telly, here are some signs to look out for:

• They seem obsessed by a certain game
• They would rather choose technology over interacting with family members or peers and friends
• They develop an accent similar to characters they are watching
• They start acting in ways that are not on par with their personality such as overly aggressive behaviour

A rule of thumb is that kids under two preferably should not be in front of a screen and if they are, they should be interacting with parents as they do so – for an hour max. Another is that kids between two and five years of age should not be watching or playing with gadgets for more than an hour a day. “Families need to make clear rules about the boundaries of when and where young kids can play and they need to be consistent with these rules and boundaries,” says Scolari.

“Kids should be allowed to feel bored so they can work out for themselves what they can do besides using gadgets. Paint, pencils, crayons, playing outside, bicycles, jungle gyms, and balls are important to get creative juices flowing, exercise and fresh air.”

And lastly, be a good role model yourself. Put your phone down. *Gulp*

 

Seriti Therapy and Assessment Centre, www.childpsychologist.co.za

The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this article/post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Woolworths or any of its affiliates, directors, officers, employees and/or advisers

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